After you lose your partner, there are things you need to think about and do. Here are some things to help you.
Remember There's no Rush
It’s stating the obvious of course, but the death of any loved one is a very challenging event in anyone’s life. There is a lot to do in the immediate aftermath – arranging the funeral, notifying the people who need to be told, and generally coping with the immediate practical stuff that needs to be done.
Some of those things are financial actions but it is worth mentioning that you do have a little bit of time to gather yourself. Banks and other financial institutions will understand that what you’ve been through is traumatic, and won’t expect you have everything sorted to within a week of the funeral.
You can take your time to get your thoughts together and regroup a little after the event. This ought not to be six months though, but a few weeks is fine.
It's Now up to You
As we've said, often one partner is the prime mover in the family finances, dealing with the everyday practicalities, while the other is a passive observer at best. I understand that every family is different, and that this situation might have come about for very good reasons. In the early years of my marriage to Joanne, she handled all the finances as I was just bad at it, and I probably would have brought financial ruin down on us! (I have got better).
But if you’re the one who has been hands-off for perhaps decades, and now you have to take control, this can be really difficult. Now, if your partner has been in slow decline, then the handover process may have happened before they passed away, but that isn’t always the case.
Sometimes a sudden event like a stroke or a traumatic accident can steal your partner away with no warning, leaving you floundering. Obviously, as we've discussed earlier, it is best to think ahead to this event and make sure that at the very least, passwords and PIN numbers can be accessed no matter what.
If you have a WID file in place, that will help massively. It is time to step up though, and shoulder the responsibility at a time when it might be the last thing you feel like doing, but it is up to you.
Take Stock of the Day to Day First
The first thing you will need to do is to make sure that the household continues to function. By this I mean make sure that bills can be paid, food and fuel can be bought, that sort of thing.
Chances are that you have at least one joint account between you, perhaps for household bills. The first task is to make sure if possible that there’s enough money in here to run the household for two to three months.
You will then have to notify any banks, building societies, insurance companies, investment and pension providers of any accounts held in your partner’s name. Most of this will be frozen until probate is granted and the estate can be distributed.
This is all the job of the executor, and it may be that you’re your partner’s executor, but can be delegated to a professional, like a solicitor, accountant or financial planner who specialises in administering estates.
Any money or asset which is held in joint names will automatically become fully held by you, most likely, but will need to be amended so that the records show your sole name after your partner has died. The providers will obviously want to see a death certificate, and if you get a few copies of the death certificate it will make life easier.
Once the practicalities of notifying the relevant providers has been done, you’ll need to take stock of your day-to-day, month-to-month position. How much pension and other income is coming in, and what bills are going out? Is there enough income to cover the outgoings? If not, where will you supplement your income from?
Just like all of us, you need to get to the stage where you have a current account for day-to-day ins and outs, then a savings account buffer you can draw from if needed, and then outside that, your wider wealth in various investment and pension accounts perhaps.
All this might take a while, but eventually you will get yourself in a position that the finances are ticking along nicely, all in your own name. You may still need to budget carefully to meet your expenses – remember you now have to be hands-on. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from trusted friends and family if you need it.
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